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The king and I grew closer and closer while I learned to read. We ate dinner together--with only each other--almost every day for a few months. As time went by, Chran seemed more and more worried about how my writing and reading were coming along, but Kelar never let it bother him. While we were in the castle, I rarely got to see the playful side Kelar had exposed during our dance in the forest, and never had to see the violent side he had exhibited protecting me. But he was always kind--almost reverent--and quite obviously very much in love with me. It wasn't long before I thought of him as a boyfriend instead of a king. Throughout our time together, I spoke of my world, and Kelar spoke of his--everything except for Eku and what my purpose in Sheshack was to be. Kelar seemed extremely interested in hearing of my God; I told him all I could remember without delving into the Trinity (a concept which I was sure would confuse him). Which meant I left out Jesus, but Kelar didn't seem to bear any ill will towards my God, at least. Besides, I figured he wouldn't understand if I went any further than that, and I figured his god was loving underneath, just like everyone used to think my God was to be feared instead of loved.
Sheshack really started to feel like home. As I learned more and more characters of the language, I became more and more content with being in a different world. By the time I had learned to read well, I think I was happier in Sheshack than I had been on Earth. In Sheshack I was treated nearly like a goddess; back home, my parents always told me what to do, I argued constantly with my sister, and I didn't really feel respected. At home my life lacked direction; I couldn't even decide which colleges to apply to. Here, my whole purpose in life was foretold and plotted out for me.
If only they'd just tell me what it was!
One day, when I entered Chran's room for my lessons, he simply rose from his desk and said, "It is time."
"For what?" I asked.
Chran nodded, and motioned for me to follow him out of the room. "Time for you to know your destiny." He took me to the front of the castle--right by the drawbridge, even. Kelar and three ostrich-like creatures, only yellow and shorter, and more dog like, with much thicker necks, were waiting for us.
"We're going to visit a temple," Kelar said simply. The beasts were harnessed together, one in front of the next. Chran got on the third l'et'un (as the things were called)--they had no saddles--and Kelar helped me onto the middle one. The king easily jumped onto the first, and before I could protest or ask any questions, he told me to hold on, and we were off!
The l'et'un l'et'un (plural) sprinted at a rate which felt quicker--and bumpier--than even a wooden roller coaster. It was all I could do to hold on. Kelar kept glancing back at me to make sure I hadn't fallen off, and I always offered him a weak smile, but I felt as if I were about to faint.
It must've only been a few minutes later when we arrived at a great building made of nothing but rough black stone, and shaped like a refrigerator box (and the size a refrigerator box would be to a medium-sized dog). Smoke came up out of the roof; that's the only reason I knew it was a building. It was one of Eku's temples.
Kelar helped me off my l'et'un, then addressed Chran. "Stay out here; you shall be summoned if we have need of you."
Chran looked hesitant, but meekly answered, "Yes, Your Majesty."
Kelar must have noticed my apprehension. "Don't you want to see Eku's temple?"
I looked down. "Don't they kill stuff in there?"
Kelar shook his head. "The animals are kept outside until they are set aflame. The temple is for the priests, and those who make the sacrifices--not for beasts."
Well, I had wanted to learn more about Eku, so I guessed I had better let Kelar give me a tour. "Let's go."
Kelar smiled.
I held his arm as we walked through the doorway. The door was made of the same stuff the rest of the building was--I hadn't even seen the door when we arrived at the temple--but it had been opened while Kelar was talking to me, so we went right in. We entered a very small corridor. Kelar motioned to a small wooden door on the right.
"That is where women pray for their sacrifices. The area is forbidden to men, but if you'd like to go inside, you may."
I shook my head, but a woman exited the room just as I passed by, so I got a glimpse of it. The room had yellow fabric draped around the walls and a small painting on one wall, but no further decoration, and no furniture. Less than five candles lit the room, so I wasn't sure if I was seeing everything that was there.
Kelar kicked on the shining black door in front of us; that was how they knocked. A man in a deep blue robe opened the door.
"Your Majesty," he said. He saw me and stopped short, obviously unsure of what to say.
"This is Bonnie," Kelar said shortly.
The man's eyes opened wide. "It is she..." He threw himself flat on the floor in front of me.
"Uh...are you all right?" I asked quietly. The man did not move. After a while, I added, "You can get up."
The man rose, then opened the door wide. "Please enter."
The room was even plainer than the women's prayer room. It was bare except for some blue robes hanging on pegs on the left wall, and some plain-looking clothes folded and set on the ground by the right wall. The man handed Kelar a robe, and the king started to unbutton his shirt. I glanced at the clothes on the ground--there was a shirt, pants, and shoes. I quickly turned my face to the black door we had entered through. I could see my reflection in it.
"I'm dressed," Kelar announced after a minute. I looked back; he looked kind of like a kid in the robe. "Why did you turn away?" he asked.
Oh boy.
"We...uh...have...different customs in my land."
Kelar laughed. "It would have been all right, since I did not tell you not to look."
"I'll...uh...remember that next time." I was blushing. "Uh...do I need to change..."
Kelar shook his head, and kicked the door opposite the one we came in through--it was shiny black, too. The door opened, and another blue-robed man immediately fell to the floor. He wouldn't get up until I told him to. The man slowly got to his feet again and waited for us to come in.
This room was made of black stone. It had a plain table on the left side, which had a blue cloth and two bowls on it. One bowl was filled with water, the other filled with something like blue paint. The blue-robed man nodded to Kelar and held out the bowl of water to him. Kelar put his left hand in the water, took it out, and did the same with his right. The man set the water on the table again and dried Kelar's hands, then took the blue stuff and used it to draw two lines on top of Kelar's eyebrows, turning them blue. The man didn't touch me, though, and soon, he opened the next door for us.
This room looked about as big as my family's whole house back on Earth. It was square, with a huge bonfire in the back, with the smoke sent out through a huge chimney. The scent of burning flesh was mingled with that of incense which burnt by the fire--neither smelled especially pleasant. The walls all had fresh flowers in built-in vases, and beautiful gold statues of great kings, each statue twice life-size, were in each of the room's corners. The room was pure white stone. Men in blue robes walked around holding gold instruments. One man in a blue robe was laying flat on the ground, holding an animal's limb. Kelar cleared his throat, and all the temple attendants saw us. Half of them prostrated themselves instantly; the others looked doubtfully at their companions for a moment before doing the same.
"This is a temple, Bonnie." Kelar bowed. "A holy place of sacrifice, a place too sacred for a woman--an ordinary woman--to enter. But you are one so great she does not even need to be purified by Eku Himself."
"What are you saying?"
Kelar nodded to the robed men and led me through a brown curtain on the left side of the room. We went up a wooden staircase and into a simple room, furnished with only a large stone block which seemed to be a table, as it was surrounded by wooden chairs with no backs. The room was dimly lit by candles; it had no windows. Kelar sat down; I sat next to him.
The king took my hands and looked far into my eyes, as if he was seeing something I didn't know what was inside of me. "You are the Chosen One of Eku. One so great she is a hundred times holier than even a king. You are the most powerful woman--no, the most powerful human ever to come into our world."
My skin tingled unpleasantly as I recalled the men reverencing me in the temple. I turned away from Kelar's gaze. "I don't understand."
"Bonnie, our 'Karat Eku Ra' (book of Eku) foretold of one who would come from another world, one to serve as Eku's priest or priestess. That person is you."
I shook my head. "Are...are you sure it's supposed to be me?"
"You can read now; I can show you." Kelar picked up a book from the floor (I hadn't noticed it earlier) and set it on the table. He flipped to different pages and pointed out passages for me to read aloud. (He smiled happily when I read most of what he pointed out with little hesitation.) The passages all told of a Chosen One who would speak directly to Eku, and be granted whatever he or she requested, anything short of eternal life, as long as the Chosen One lived. "This is why we took such good care of you, Bonnie, and why we taught you to read. All you must do is read a certain passage of this book, in full voice, and you will become Eku's priestess; His Chosen One."
"And...Eku...would give me anything I wanted?"
"Anything at all!" Kelar took one of my hands again. "Wealth, knowledge--Bonnie, if you chose, you could raise people from the dead!"
I would be as powerful as any human being ever had been. Except maybe Jesus, but He's half God. I'd practically be a goddess. I could choose to give life to the dead. If I was Eku's priestess, I could force the people of Tlaklen to become allies with Sheshack instead. I could make the world so much better; maybe Earth couldn't have world peace, but surely the planet Ne'bu could, if I was Eku's priestess. A chill went up and down my spine; I felt almost as if my very fingertips were already filled with power.
"Do you wish to be Eku's priestess?" Kelar asked, making it sound almost more like a statement than a question. I was caught up in the promises of getting everything I had ever wanted. The castle would 'be wired for electricity and have indoor plumbing; I'd have the best computer ever made; Id be able to pick up all of Earths radio stations on my stereo! Maybe I'd even bring my friends to visit me--they'd be so jealous when they saw my boyfriend! Everything I had loved from Earth would be in our castle in Ne'bu.
"Yes," I replied to Kelar's question.
He smiled widely, then hugged me. "Bonnie, today, you have quite possibly saved my soul."
His words cut through my extravagant thoughts like a cold breeze whips through a knit sweater. "What?"
Kelar let go of me. "Nothing."
"No, what?"
Kelar hesitated, then sighed. "If you refused to be a priestess, I might go to y'eet."
"The place of eternal torment? Why?"
Kelar looked up at me, his green eyes dim in the candlelight. "Sheshack is in danger, Bonnie; you know that. There is an excellent chance that in a war, Tlaklen could overtake the country, and they refuse to speak of peace, nor can we back down. But you were brought here to help us succeed."
"I know; I said I'd help," I said. "But what does losing your country have to do with y'eet?"
Kelar looked confused, then spoke slowly. "If I lose my country, I am a poor king, and I lose my power, as well. So eternity in y'eet would be my fate." I stared blankly at the king, who frowned.
"So...you'd spend eternity in hell...if you lost your country? No matter what else you did?"
"Unless I got it back again. Power shows one has Eku's favor, and if I have no power, obviously Eku does not support me." I looked up at Kelar; his worry was sincere.
"Eku rewards the powerful..."
Kelar nodded.
"But what about the poor?" I asked.
"I'd have a place lower than them if we went to war with Tlaklen and lost."
"The poor go to hell?"
"Why do you think they're poor? If Eku cared for them, they'd be rich... But if they serve the king well enough, and earned his favor, the king may grant them a place with him in f'ai'ra'tu."
"But...women have even less power than poor men...I guess they go to hell, too?" I suddenly got scared.
"No, no!" Kelar said, a bit more at ease. "Women don't have souls."
He lost his smile as I stared blankly at him. "What?"
"You have a soul, of course--how could Eku's Chosen One--the most powerful being in the world--reside anyplace but heaven? But the other women...you've seen them...they surely don't have the intelligence to..." I glared at him, and he stopped. "Bonnie...if you don't choose to be Eku's priestess...well, you probably have a soul; you're smart enough, but Eku wont let you in his heaven."
"I don't want to be in his heaven!" I cried instinctively. "A heaven full of rich kings--away from women and anyone who's kind or good?"
"There are kind rich men," Kelar said. "Or, at least, you seem to like me."
I swallowed hard. "I love you, Kelar."
The king's eyebrows--his blue eyebrows--were drawn together in sadness and fear. "But you don't mind if I go to hell..."
"I have a God of my own," I said quietly.
"We're far from your home, Bonnie," Kelar said. "Perhaps your god has no power here."
His words felt like a direct punch in the nose; my face hurt, and I started to cry. Kelar handed me a handkerchief, but I leaned on him and bawled on his shoulder. After a moment, he put an arm around me.
"Bonnie, please," he said. "Can you at least consider becoming Eku's priestess? Surely you want to be the most powerful woman in the world?"
I nodded. I was in a world which was still foreign to me, a world my God may not even have dominion over. I wanted security, and I wanted Kelar to love me.
"Perhaps you will have enough power to even change Eku's criteria for heaven," Kelar said, smiling. "And you will help the whole country, and the people you care about most."
I nodded again.
"So you'll do it?" I heard Kelar's voice trembling. I had never seen a man in Sheshack cry, but a couple tears rolled down Kelar's frightened face. Surely I could be the priestess--just long enough to ensure that Kelar wouldn't lose his throne? So he wouldn't think he was going to hell? Maybe God would forgive me?
"I'll do it."
Kelar smiled, obviously not minding the tears in his eyes, and hugged me, spinning me around in a circle. He let me go after a minute, leaving me dizzy.
"At sunrise tomorrow, we will take you outside, on a balcony in the castle, and you shall read the words. And you shall become Eku's priestess, and have your every wish fulfilled."
I nodded, shaking a bit. Kelar bowed to me. "Thank you, Bonnie. You have saved me, and the kingdom as well. I shall forever be in your debt."
I smiled back, weakly. I didn't want to scare him or make him think he was going to hell; I wouldn't do that to him for all the power in Ne'bu. Even if he believed in the wrong god. But I had a terrible feeling, a knot in my chest and a weakness in my legs, which came up every time I so much as thought of becoming Eku's priestess.
*****
"Are you ready for the ceremony?"
Kelar and I were sitting on a bench on the tallest castle balcony. Kelar wrapped his arms around me as the sky started to lighten. I leaned on him; the air was still chilly, and our surroundings dark--the sun was still down, and the world around us looked eerie. They had put me in a silly-looking deep blue robe, and had wound my hair up all near my head, so I'd look pretty for Eku, I guess. My stomach wouldn't leave me alone, and it wasn't a pleasant kind of nervousness, either. It was the kind of feeling which foretold some sort of impending doom, like a test you didn't study for that you have to take in five minutes.
I put my arms on Kelar's. "I'm ready."
"Just a little while now," Kelar said. When Dlarka had wakened me that morning, the king was outside my door, looking disheveled. I later learned he had spent the whole night outside of bedroom, afraid something would happen to me, now that he was so close to having the safety of his country, and his soul, secured.
"Greatness." I looked over, then down; Leander was kneeling next to my seat. "May I beg one favor of Your Greatness?"
"I'm nothing great yet," I said, feeling nauseous.
"But when Your Greatness has given her life over to Eku, would she please do one thing for me?" I looked down at the prince; his eyes were huge and frightened. His gaze was fixed on my shoes.
"What is it?"
"Would...would you...please..." He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes. "There is someone I'd like Your Greatness to bring back to life for me. Please?" I didn't reply for a moment, and Leander started to cry. He laid himself down flat on the ground. "I beg this of Your Greatness. This is all I shall ever ask of her." He was shaking.
"Yeah," I answered softly. "Of course I will, Leander."
He looked up at me, although he still lay on the ground, then rose to his knees and bowed his head again. "I shall be eternally in Your Greatness' debt," he said, quickly retreating.
When his brother was gone, Kelar noted, "That was very kind of you."
"Do you know who he wants me to..." I shuddered at the word. "Resurrect?"
"I'm not sure," Kelar said. "My first guess would be our mother--he was very close to her, but then, she was so ill, she wanted to die. Or he had a friend who hanged himself the other day--"
"What?" I gasped. "Why didn't someone tell me?"
"It's not your concern," Kelar said. "We were fairly certain he was a spy; he ended his own life to save us the trouble, I'm sure. I guess that must've been hard on Leander, though."
I shuddered again, and was silent for a long while, not really wanting to hear of any more dead people. Finally I asked, "Is it going to hurt?"
Kelar rubbed my arms. "What?"
"Being Eku's Chosen One; his priestess. Will it hurt?"
"Why would you think that?"
"I mean...why would Eku just give me everything I wanted? Wouldn't he wish for something in return?"
Kelar took my hands. "Eku will become a part of you, and you will become a part of Eku. You will wish for his will to be done on Ne'bu."
"What is his will?" I remembered that this was the god who sent the poor to hell.
"It's his will that you're here, Bonnie, and that Sheshack's king retains his power."
I really wanted to tell Kelar that I couldn't do what he wanted, what Eku wanted, that we'd have to find another way to secure his soul in the afterlife. But at that moment, Kelar drew me into an embrace. He was so tense he was trembling. I didn't want to worry Kelar, no matter what the cost. So I simply hugged him in return, hoping I wouldn't lose too much of myself when I handed myself over to this unknown god.
I leaned against the king and closed my eyes, tired from getting up so early. When I opened them again, quite a crowd had gathered outside the castle gates, and many people who worked inside the castle were perched in different places, where they could see me on the balcony. I felt even more nervous, and I had trouble getting up out of my seat without Kelar's help. He let me lean against his strong body for a few minutes before he quietly said, "You really should prepare." I nodded and left the warmth of Kelar's arms, then picked up the 'Karat Eku Ra' from the bench and walked over to the edge of the balcony, just as we had rehearsed the night before. The page I was supposed to read was bookmarked, with the text I needed to read circled in green ink. I read it over once, in my head. It basically said that I pledged my soul, life, and being to Eku, who brought me to this land, and that I accepted the burden of his infinite power. Standard stuff, I guess.
I took a deep breath and looked down over the castle. There were thousands of people, all gathered to catch a glimpse of the Chosen One. They certainly wouldn't be able to hear my words from that distance. Maybe they were expecting a show; maybe they thought they'd see Eku himself handing me a magic wand or something. I looked back at Kelar. He looked nervous, and a bit impatient. I gave him a quick smile, and he smiled back. But I didn't feel well; I got the feeling that what I was about to do was dangerous. Why did I need a new god, anyway? Wasn't mine good enough? I looked down again at all the peasants who looked at me with their hopeful eyes--probably hoping I would bestow riches upon them once I had my power.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
This was worse than bowing to a golden calf.
Would God forgive me for knowingly pledging myself to another god? I believed Jesus had died to save me from my sins, and here I was, about to pledge fidelity to a god who I didn't even know, and who I had no faith in! He had done nothing for me. I had never felt his presence.
I looked at the horizon. The sun was just starting to step into our side of the world.
I would never read those words aloud. I would never serve Eku. I felt a great burden lifted off of my soul; the nervous feeling retreated as well.
How would I tell Kelar that I wouldn't serve his god, or help him get into his f'ai'ra'tu? Without thinking, I stepped up onto the wall of the balcony and put my toes over the edge.
Suddenly a strong hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to the safety of the balcony. I landed in Kelar's arms. "What the death were you doing?" Kelar yelled, cursing.
I looked up at Kelar, scared. "I...I can't..."
"You can't what?" The desperate look on Kelar's face told me he had already guessed.
"I'm sorry!" I cried, tears gathering in my eyes. "Please...I just can't...my God would be unhappy..."
"Bonnie, please!" Kelar begged. "Surely you want power, and to make me happy, and for me to go to heaven? You have no reason to prefer your god over Eku--"
"I'm sorry, Kelar." I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "I can't. I love you, and I love my God. But I don't love Eku." Kelar let go of me, and fell to his knees. I couldn't meet his eyes, so I ran back in from the balcony.
*****
"Really?" was Dlarka's response after I told her what I had done. She looked a bit sad, but that was all. "Why did you refuse?"
I took a deep breath. "I have another God. One I like better than Eku. He doesn't promise to give me everything I want, but...it's just not right...to switch over to something you don't believe in...to something..." I was afraid Eku was real, but that didn't mean he was good. "To something wrong."
Dlarka just glanced at me. "What's your heaven like?"
"I...I don't know...streets of gold, a crystal sea, a big mansion with many rooms...it's...it's a nice place..."
"And you're going there?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I think so. If my God can forgive me...if He wants me there..." I started to cry.
"And you're a woman."
"My God lets women go to heaven as easily as men."
Dlarka put me into a tunic. I sulked and laid on my bed. "Really." She seemed a bit skeptical. "I've heard the other gods of this world do, too. But I suppose you are meant to go against Eku, then." She smiled. "I'll give you all the help I can."
I still was feeling kind of sad, but Dlarka had me read her passages from my Bible to her. Translating on the fly was hard work, but it did make me feel better.
*****
That afternoon, while I was reading to Dlarka in my room, I heard a creak. The wall behind one of my tapestries was moving--being pulled back, like a sliding door.
"What's going on?" I asked quietly.
Dlarka's eyes opened wide, and she put her hand on my shoulder.
The section of the wall was now out of sight. The tapestry over the hole moved. Someone--it was Kelar!--stepped out from behind it. He looked tired and sad, and his eyes seemed darker than usual.
"Bonnie," he said.
"Kelar...I'm sorry, but--"
"Don't talk." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the wall. "Come on."
"Where? What are you doing?"
"Don't you trust me, Bonnie?"
He looked at me desperately, and I felt myself walking with him.
Kelar took a candle and dragged me through the wall into what turned out to be a hallway inside the walls themselves.
"It's a secret passage," Kelar noted, quietly and unnecessarily.
"Where does it go?" I asked.
Kelar didn't answer.
We went down a flight of stairs, then up another. There was an open door at the end. The room it led into was even nicer than mine--every inch of the wall was covered with tapestries and paintings, and the bed was huge and canopied, with deep red sheets.
"This is my room," Kelar said. He kissed me, square on the lips, and very hard. I gasped for breath when he let me go.
"Kelar," I murmured. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me onto the bed, and his hands went to his waistband. I got scared. "What are you doing?"
Kelar didn't look at me. "Know I always will love you, Bonnie."
"But--"
Kelar grabbed my arms and grabbed the bottom hem of my robe. There was a spark in his eyes, one which reminded me of when he killed the men who wanted to kidnap me.
"A Chosen One is any who simply has some blood from another world. So if you were to have a child, he or she could give himself to Eku instead of you."
I was still frozen. "Kelar..."
"I'll never force you--or anyone--to serve Eku, but the fate of my soul and this country rests with finding a Chosen One. So I must do this."
The king pulled on my robe. I couldn't move.
But I screamed so loudly it must have scared Kelar's enemies in Tlaklen. The real door to Kelar's room opened, and Leander looked in.
"Brother, I heard Her Greatness cry out--is she injured?" Leander finally looked at Kelar and me. The three of us were all suddenly struck silent and immobile. I finally regained control of my limbs, and rushed behind Leander, , putting my hands on his shoulders.
"Don't let him hurt me," I begged. I was shaking. Leander slowly put a hand on mine, trying to steady me.
"Brother, what are you doing?"
Kelar sighed a bit, and turned away. "Nothing. She'll tell you if she wants to." The king looked up. "But Bonnie--I will have a Chosen One. We'll start tomorrow."
I went numb again; Leander practically dragged me out of the room.
"What's wrong, Greatness?" Leander asked quietly.
"Couldn't you see what was wrong?" I whispered fiercely.
Leander blinked. "You didn't want to...but...why? Why would my brother scare you? He loves you!"
I shook my head. "He doesn't care for me--to disregard my wishes like that."
The prince looked sad for a moment. He put his arm over my shoulder. "Shall I take you back to your room?"
My room was less than fifteen feet from Kelar's, but it was across the hall, which is why the passageway had those stairs.
When I came through my door, Dlarka immediately embraced me. "Oh, Bonnie. Did he hurt you much?"
I shook my head. "He didn't touch me yet, but he said tomorrow, he'd...."
Dlarka and Leander looked at each other. "Come on, Greatness," Leander finally said. "We'll go talk to him."
I sat on my bed and turned away. "I can't look at him."
"Well, then look at the floor. But I won't be able to stand up to him unless you're in the room with me."
I swallowed. "You won't let him touch me, though?"
"Just say the word and I'll knock him out."
"With what?"
Leander looked to his left. "Oh. Wait a second, okay?" He ran off.
I watched the doorway. "What good is Leander going to do?" I finally asked, quietly.
Dlarka shook her head. "He's a sweet boy. He tries his best."
"What good is trying? Kelar's trying to be a good king, right? And I thought he was sweet before--"
I stopped when I felt Dlarka's hand on my shoulder. "I never trusted Frun, but I trust his brother. I can't even say Leander will be able to do you any good, but I know he'll give all he has for it. Trust him as a favor to me, please."
I nodded once, slowly. Leander returned in his military uniform, with a sword at his side. "Is Your Greatness ready?"
I knew I had to trust someone--Leander looked like who I should bet on.
"Please call me Bonnie."
*****
It took us quite a while to track Kelar down. We finally found him in a bare sitting room, in a soft chair, his feet resting by a fire. He had just taken a bath, and was in a robe, his hair up in a towel. I still thought he looked handsome, but the sight of him made my knees shake. "Bonnie. Leander. What do you two want?"
"Brother." Leander knelt. "I beg you to do no more ill to the Chosen One--"
"She is not the Chosen One," Kelar said quietly.
His words surprised me. I wasn't chosen. I wasn't special. I wasn't protected. My only allies were a middle-aged maidservant and the wiry brother of the king. I wasn't important. I felt kind of empty.
"She has not chosen Eku--He did not choose her, save to bear a child to become the Chosen One--"
"That's not the prophecy!" Leander objected.
Kelar looked away. "It says the Chosen One is of blood of another world."
Leander closed his eyes. "Brother, I cannot let you harm her."
Kelar's eyebrows raised. "What?"
Leander stepped in front of me, focusing on the floor. "You will not hurt her."
Kelar frowned. "Fine. We shall do battle tomorrow. If you slay me, obviously I can do her no more harm. But if not, I shall take her. Is that fair?"
Leander said nothing.
"Then tomorrow, when the sun is overhead, we shall fight." Kelar stood and took Leander's arm as a handshake.
"You won't do anything to her before then?" Leander asked quickly.
"I swear. Please, go rest for the battle."
I was already edging my way out of the room. Leander followed, and we walked back through the hallways and up flights of stairs.
"I may not live through tomorrow," Leander said awkwardly. "So let me apologize now, for if I fail."
"No. You--you have no reason to do this for me, to risk yourself for me--"
"Bonnie, you are the Chosen One of our country--our world. Whether you accept our God or not. It...it is my duty as a loyal citizen of Sheshack and a subject of Eku to keep you from undue pain and unhappiness."
But I knew Kelar was right. I wasn't chosen.
"You...you see this as your duty? To protect me? That's it?"
"Of course there's more to it than duty. Bonnie...it's a wonderful thing when duty and feelings and loyalty and caring and God's will and everything all coincide and point in the same direction, then you know you're doing right. But usually something--a little thing, most often--points the wrong way. Like a fish swimming up a river--not enough to sway the boat, but enough to make you wonder if you're going the right way after all..."
Fish up a river. That simile was old on Earth too.
"Sometimes the fish is small; sometimes there are many large fish in a small stream, swimming so that you can hardly tell which way the current is supposed to go. But if you really trust, your boat will go the right way--you'll see what you have to do. Even if you don't want to--if the river goes over a waterfall or something--you know you need to go along. And even if you're too stupid to see the water, you have to trust that the boat will follow the current."
I was silent.
"There's a lot of fish in this river, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the boat."
And I knew which way the stream was headed, but I couldn't help but fear the fish.
*****
Leander and Kelar were both in their military uniforms, minus their jackets. They held their swords, and wore no sheaths on their belts. They both looked pale.
"You ready?" Kelar asked.
Leander nodded.
There was a man in a brown shirt and blue pants standing against the wall, but he didn't look like a referee. I was the only other spectator.
Leander and Kelar touched their swords together without grabbing arms first. The next second, they were lunging, jumping, dodging and swinging at each other. There was no form, just whirling bodies and flashing metal.
"God, let Leander be okay," I prayed silently. "And...and let him kill Kelar...if it's Your will..."
Someone's sword went flying; it almost hit the other observer. It took me a minute to get my breath back. Leander had the blade of his sword at Kelar's neck. The king's eyes were closed, and Leander's were cringed; the latter looked like he was going to be sick.
"Leander," Kelar said gently, his eyes still closed. "You've beaten me. Finish the fight, please."
Leander looked at his brother for a minute. He drew his sword back, swung it, and missed his target so badly I couldn't even tell what he was aiming for. Leander bit his lip and dropped the sword. Kelar opened his eyes, and Leander hugged him. Kelar was silent for a while.
"Leander," he finally said, "much ill will come of this. You really should have--"
Leander shook his head firmly.
Kelar closed his eyes again. "Brother...I doubt I could have ended your life, either."
Leander smiled. "It was a foolish fight, then. But as long as it turned out okay, I guess there's nothing to worry about."
Kelar nodded and held his brother for a minute before letting go. He then approached me and took my wrist. "Come on."
"What?" Leander ran to us. "Brother--I won the fight!"
"I said I would do Bonnie no harm if you killed me. I'm still alive."
Leander's jaw dropped. Kelar didn't look triumphant or anything--his face bore the same dull expression it had when he was reading an edict or raising taxes.
"But...you can't hurt her!" Leander protested.
Kelar dropped my wrist. "Brother, you could have taken my life. You still may take it, if you wish. But as long as I breathe, I must work at obtaining a Chosen One for Eku, and for the kingdom."
"And for your soul." Leander's voice practically dripped with bitterness.
Kelar grabbed me again. "I know you'd make a good king, Leander. I'm not afraid to die, so do as you will. I shan't cause Bonnie any permanent harm, and I do regret causing her pain, but this is necessary."
Leander's eyes were blank. He made no move. Kelar dragged me away. I prayed desperately, first in my mind, then aloud, in Shesha, so Kelar could hear.
"Please, God, please, please don't let him hurt me! I know he...he doesn't mean to be evil, but...I'm so scared--please protect me from him--"
"Stop it," Kelar said, pushing me into his bedroom. "He doesn't hear you--or if he does, he doesn't care."
I felt that he was lying. "But imagine how Leander'll feel if you--"
"My brother is infatuated with you--you must remind him of Kasa."
"Kasa?"
"Ask him about her sometime." Kelar slammed the door, locked it from the inside, and put the key up high on a shelf, where I couldn't reach it. The king grabbed me by the shoulders. "I'll try not to hurt you."
"The death you will," I cursed.
Kelar's face registered surprise, and I knew my duty was to try my best to escape, even if it was impossible--to fight as if I was a woman from America, not Sheshack. If I struggled, it wouldn't be my fault if something happened to me. My foot landed right on Kelar's shin. Kelar dropped me and stepped back a couple steps. He fell to the ground, put his hands on the floor, and started to vomit. I shied back.
"You...didn't hurt me," Kelar said quickly. He took his shirt off and wiped his mouth with it. "I'm sorry--I'm just not feeling well."
I edged away. "You...maybe you should just go to bed if you're sick...I'll just leave..."
Kelar leapt up and grabbed my wrist, probably forgetting I couldn't get out anyway. "I'll be fine," he said. I got loose and struggled to hurt him--he hit me back each time, only harder than I could ever hope to hit. He swayed a bit, but I was sure my punches and kicks had nothing to do with it. Kelar tried to return another of my hits, and dropped to the ground.
"Kelar?" I asked quietly. He didn't move. I didn't dare to touch him, though I couldn't see if he was breathing. But even if he was dead, I was still trapped; the key was out of reach.
"I can't get it," I whispered, looking at the shelf. "Come on...God...let me..." I paused and knelt. "God, thank you for helping me...but please get me out of here..." I looked up. The shelf was just a plank of wood set atop two wooden supports which stuck out of the wall. Maybe it wasn't nailed down! The sheath to Kelar's sword was on his dresser. I took it and pushed up on the bottom corner of the shelf. The plank moved, tipped, and fell, hitting the smooth stone floor with a noise like a gunshot. I froze, but Kelar didn't stir. Finally, I dared to fetch the key and put it in the lock.
I stumbled back to my room--my legs were shaking-- and opened the door. Dlarka was gone, but Leander was sitting on the floor, facing the wall.
"Dlarka?" he asked, not moving.
"No...it's me..."
Leander's head went down further.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
Leander was silent. I approached him and touched his shoulder, but he shrugged me off.
"Leander, I'm okay..."
Leander moved a bit, but didn't turn. "What?"
"He hasn't hurt me yet."
Leander slowly turned his head. He looked into my face, then stared at the wall again.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I failed," Leander whispered. "I failed and he hit you."
In the excitement of escaping Kelar's clutches, I hadn't even felt where he hit me, even though I probably had a bunch of bruises. "I hit him first, and he didn't really do anything to me, Leander--I'm all right!"
The door creaked open. I jerked my head back and tensed up, but it was just Dlarka.
"Bonnie," she said quietly.
"I'm all right," I told her. "But could you tell him that?" I motioned to Leander.
Dlarka sat next to Leander, put an arm on his shoulder, and whispered into his ear. Leander pushed her away almost violently.
"You did what?" he yelled.
"He probably won't die," Dlarka offered.
"What if he does? You know I still love him, don't you?"
"I'd sooner he die than he hurt Bonnie," Dlarka said quietly. "But if you wish to turn me in, go ahead."
Leander didn't reply.
"He'll recover," Dlarka continued. "All this did was buy you some time--a couple days at best. If you don't want Bonnie to get hurt, and if you can't kill him, you have to escape."
Dlarka waited for Leander to move. When he didn't, she took me by the arms. "Let's do something for those bruises." I let her put me on the bed and put wrapped packs of ice on my jaw, over my left eye, and on my leg. "Don't move now," she said, and she went back to Leander. They spoke in angry and frustrated whispers, but I couldn't understand them. Leander suddenly got up and left the room.
"What's he doing?" I asked.
"Ssh," Dlarka said, sitting on my bed.
"Tell me. Why'd he leave?"
Dlarka squeezed my hand. "He went to help Frun. His Majesty is very ill, you know."
"What's gonna happen?"
"What do you mean?" Dlarka asked.
"How long before Kelar...gets me?"
Dlarka looked out the window. "He won't."
"Will he die?"
"Probably not...don't tell anyone, but I...I've known the doctor--that's how I knew how much poison to use. I'd have killed His Majesty, except that would make the prince so unhappy."
"Kelar was throwing up...getting it out of his system--maybe he'll get better quicker?"
Dlarka closed her eyes and shrugged helplessly. "I suppose you would know..."
"But then...he'll get me when he--"
Dlarka grabbed my wrist, putting her fingernails in my skin. "He will not hurt you. If Leander will help you, the two of you will flee the castle. If not, I'll send you by yourself, or maybe even go with you. But His Majesty shall not have you, I promise."
They were treating me like I was still the Chosen One--like I was still important. "Dlarka--why do you and Leander even care what happens to me?"
Dlarka took a long time to respond. "We...we both like you, Bonnie. You're a good person, and you remind us both of someone else."
"Who?" Dlarka didn't speak. "Kasa?"
Dlarka paled and turned away. "Ask Leander about that."
I was just impressed with myself for remembering the name.
"You don't like me because of who I am inside, though?"
Dlarka rolled her eyes. "Don't be an idiot. Now get some rest, would you? I don't know when you'll have to run off, and you don't want to be tired."
So I did my best to take a nap as the ice packs turned my body numb.
*****
I woke to see Leander sitting on my bed, his gaze on me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. "I'm sorry I...I...I was so cold earlier. I mean, he did hurt you, and it's my fault, but..."
"It's okay. I'm okay. And...I'm glad you tried to help."
"Trying doesn't help anyone."
I touched his arm. "It still makes me feel better..." Leander turned away. "Let's not talk about it," I suggested.
He turned back. "Let's have dinner, okay, Bonnie? Afterwards, we need to make some plans." He took the ice pack--well, it was cold water now--off my eye. "That sound good?"
I smiled and got up, trying to look happy.
*****
"So what plan have you come up with?" I asked. Leander and I were feeling better now that we had eaten. Dlarka was back, and looked pretty cheerful, considering that if anyone found out what she did to the king, she'd be executed, immediately and painfully.
"I don't have any good plans or anything..."
"Leander, just have some confidence, okay? How am I supposed to trust your plan if you don't trust it?"
Leander evaded my gaze. "Bonnie--I think it will work, but you'll probably get hurt doing it."
"Hurt? Why? How badly?"
Leander bit his lip. "Let me just explain it to you, okay? Then you can say if you want to do it or not." So Leander told me the details. I shivered.
"Is that the best you can do?" I muttered.
Leander nodded soberly. "How else can we cover your face?"
Dlarka squeezed my shoulder and turned me towards her. "Bonnie, Kelar will be fully recovered in a day or two. This may be your only chance to get out before Kelar--"
"I've been okay so far," I said. "God will keep me safe in the castle."
"He's giving you a way out," Leander said suddenly. "Maybe it's not what you want to do, but what God wants for you is what's important, isn't it?"
I knew he was right, and I felt myself trusting Leander.
"You really think it'll work?" I asked.
"The worst that'll happen is we'll be discovered and you'll be back where you started. You don't have much to lose."
"But..." I looked down, and I could feel my face turning red. "I'm scared of the dark."
Dlarka looked surprised. "You never minded when I put the lights out in your room."
"I'm not afraid of the night, Dlarka. It's being somewhere unfamiliar in the dark, in the daytime--"
"It'll only be for a little while," Leander said, stretching the definition of little.
"But if you don't--"
"I'll try to get there in time. If not, I'll be eternally sorry, you know that--but at least we'll avoid a confrontation--"
"What if you don't knock the other guy out?"
"Oh." Leander obviously hadn't thought of that. He touched my arm. "Bonnie, trust your god, trust me, trust Dlarka's judgment of me, I don't care. But have faith that you'll--we'll escape, okay?"
I was still nervous, but a restful feeling--like when you awake lie in bed after an exhausting day--swept over me. I had to stop complaining and worrying.
I trusted.
