Kirsten is an 18-inch-tall girl from 1854, and Nellie is
an 18-inch-tall girl from 1906. Mini Kit is a 6.5-inch-doll
from 1934. They live with the laziest webpage updater ever. :(
Kirsten's birthday is...ah...well...
Sorry, Kirsten! We really did celebrate her birthday about on
time, but, er, it took a long time to get the pictures developed.
"You only have a digital camera!" Kirsten said accusingly.
Sigh. Anyway, the album's here now!
For her birthday, Kirsten wanted to play pirates!
Granted, it was too hot to dress up like pirates, but Kirsten wore
her summer dress, Nellie had a nice cool swimsuit (since we're indoors
and with all girls, she didn't feel she needed to wear the tights), and
Mini Kit had her favorite outfit, with a spiffy new belt. Yay!
Anyway, Kirsten and the others settled for playing the Pirates
Constructable Card Game, which has cardboard trading cards that you
assemble into ships, which then go on quests to retrieve treasure!
For $10, I bought a set at Target that had 7 ships and some game
And only two islands, so my Pirates of the Caribbean figurines had to stand in for the rest of those.
Kirsten played against Mini Kit and Nellie. A game of pillaging
really didn't appeal to Nellie, but since Mini Kit was so small, she
thought it was only fair that she get some help. So the game
Kirsten quickly got some treasure and deposited it at Jack Sparrow
Island. And she rolled a six, which was certainly enough to get a
cannon hit on Mini Kit's ship.
"Ha ha! I sunk your ship!" Kirsten said.
"Miss Mini Kit, no!" Nellie yelled, trying to restrain the furious Mini Kit.
"Grrrrrr!!!!!" Mini Kit growled, struggling vainly to get out of Nellie's grasp.
Kirsten continued to sail, now trying to take on Mini Kit's flagship, the Paladin.
"Don't you dare sink that ship!" Mini Kit yelled. "I'll never forgive you!"
The battle was fierce, with many casualties, but in the end...
"The Paladin is the best!" Mini Kit cheered, standing triumphantly over her white-masted ship.
"Miss Kirsten, no!" Nellie said, trying valiantly to restrain Kirsten from throttling Mini Kit.
(Nellie missed her calling; she probably should have been a referee. Or possibly a bouncer.)
Eventually, the game was over, and they had to tally up their treasure coins...
"Hey!" Mini Kit said, sitting next to the Island of Swann. "We won!"
"Hooray!" Mini Kit said, and even Nellie celebrated a little.
"Hmph," Kirsten said, turning away.
"But it's my birthday! That means I can make the rules!"
"It does not," Mini Kit said.
"Yes, it does," Kirsten replied. "See; Pegleg Sally agrees! She says I rule the world!"
"She doesn't talk!" Mini Kit said.
"But it's my birthday, and I say the low score wins," Kirsten said.
"But Nellie agrees with me," Mini Kit said.
"I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings, Miss Kirsten," Nellie said, "but we should follow the rules that came with the game."
"Okay," Kirsten said suddenly. "But since it's my birthday..."
"...anyone who won't follow my rules doesn't get any of my giant birthday brownie."
Mini Kit and Nellie exchanged looks.
"Kirsten wins!" Mini Kit said.
"Hooray for Miss Kirsten!" Nellie said.
The brownie wasn't pretty, but it tasted delicious.
And afterwards, it was time for Kirsten's present.
"Aiee!" Kirsten yelled.
She was not particularly squeamish, but a giant three-legged spider would frighten anyone.
"Oh dear," Nellie said.
"D...don't...be afraid," Mini Kit said.
"A wonderful lady named Deborah gave me a sword; I can slay it!"
"No, no," I said. "It's not really a spider! It's a tripod!"
"I've never heard of any giant monster tripods in fantasy stories," Mini Kit said. "That's about the stupidest name for a wicked race I've ever heard of, Cheap Lady."
"You don't understand," I said.
But Kirsten had already fled...
"Evil Kirsten! Can you believe what a terrible present Cheap Lady bought me???"
Evil Kirsten raised her hand in agreement.
"No, no, it's not a terrible present!" I said. "It's a doll tripod! Do you know what a tripod is?"
"An ugly three-legged spider," Kirsten said.
"No; it's something you put a camera on! Look at the mirror!"
Kirsten stooped over the camera. "I can't even see the screen," she said. "This looks more like a mini doll tripod. You didn't buy this for Mini Kit, did you?"
"No; it's for you!" I said. "Here, come over to your clothes, and
I'll show you what it can do." Kirsten patiently watched me wind
the arms of the tripod around the arm of my futon, and then...
"Wow!" Kirsten said when I played the video back. "Is that me?"
"Yeah!" I said. "You just don't normally come out well in videos,
because I can't hold the camera steady. But now I can!"
Kirsten played back her video approximately 121,036 times, forcing
YouTube's server into the downtime you may remember happening sometime
in the last month or so.
But she had a happy birthday!
(The tripod, by the way, is a Gorillapod. See Joby.com. I got mine at Best Buy.)