~Friday, September 4th, 1936~

quantumcatz: BM: ::it's early on friday morning, Becky has brought back a few teachers now, though she hasn't slept yet::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::has been taking care of the older kids, and has successfully gotten most of them to bed; he looks pretty exhausted himself::

quantumcatz: BM: ::is just back from another trip to the clearing, moves towards Toby:: Take it Ben's still asleep?

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::nods; quietly::  We'd probably hear him if he wasn't.  ::still can't look closely at Becky::

quantumcatz: BM: ::hesitantly:: You should sleep too

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  I'm all right.

quantumcatz: BM: You look tired

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::more sharply::  I said, I'm all right.

quantumcatz: BM: What's wrong with me saying you should sleep? I'm worried about you!

 yarnkittymon: TY:  ::coldly::  Well, I didn't *really* die, apparently, so I guess I'm fine!

quantumcatz: BM: If you were fine you wouldn't be snapping at me for saying you look tired

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::in a low voice::  Whatever happens, it's better if I stay awake.

quantumcatz: BM: Indefinitely? Or just until you collapse?

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  I can't just get over it, Becky.

quantumcatz: BM: I know that!

yarnkittymon: TY:  Then why are you telling me what to do?

quantumcatz: BM: I was just... ::groans:: Fine, do whatever  you want

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::softly::  I know you didn't remember me, but I loved you for all I had.

quantumcatz: ((he loved her in the dream world? ))

yarnkittymon: ((Not that she did it, but didn't he?  He was totally trying to get her :P ))

yarnkittymon: ((Although at the end he loved Lillian more IMO ;) ))

quantumcatz: ((yeah, was all lillian's fault, otherwise they would just have gone off and fallen in love again ;)))

quantumcatz: BM: ::winces:: I can't change what I did

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::nods; softly::  I know.  I just...I always thought you were better than me.

quantumcatz: BM: What...?

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  That you weren't all self-absorbed.  That you'd never sell anyone out to save yourself or someone close t oyou.

quantumcatz: BM: ::rubs at her eyes:: I was back in a world i've been running from for a long time, i was scared, i wanted to go home

yarnkittymon: TY:  What if I'd done it to you?

quantumcatz: BM: ::softly, looking down:: I'd probably feel the same way you do right now

yarnkittymon: TY:  But you know I wouldn't.  I still hate myself for leaving Clayton behind, even if he's all right now.

quantumcatz: BM: ::tears spring to her eyes, though she doesn't look up, so he probably can't see them:: I know.  I know you wouldn't...

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::in a very low voice::  But it wasn't...real.  And it's not happening now.

quantumcatz: BM: Saying that won't make what i did any better, as much as i'd like it to

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::in a very low voice::  You're my wife, but it's going to take a while.

quantumcatz: BM: ::takes a deep breath, softly:: I love you

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::stays still for a little while, then looks up, to see if she seems to mean it::

quantumcatz: BM: ::there are still tears in her eyes, though she's trying to blink them back::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::shudders; softly::  What were you trying to get back to?  Did you have a family?

quantumcatz: BM: I...no...i thought Dominick and Fiona really were in Scotland...i had some friends but.... ::winces, knowing how bad that sounds:: I just kept thinking that i wanted to go home and i couldn't spend my life running again

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::puts his hands in his pockets, exhaling::  So you were mad.

quantumcatz: BM: I don't know ::bites her lip:: Maybe some subconscious part of me was trying to get back to my real life ::sighs:: Or maybe that's just a big excuse for it all

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::softly::  You could go on the run easier than anyone.  Why were you against doing it?

quantumcatz: BM: Just because it's easy doesn't mean i'd want to do it. I ran all through my childhood, never settling down - you think i'd want to do that again?

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  But why fight to defend a *place*?  It's about who you're with.

quantumcatz: BM: I was with two strangers!

yarnkittymon: TY:  I felt like I knew the two of you!

quantumcatz: BM: ::shakes her head, one of the tears she's been fighting finally falling down her cheek:: Well, i'm sorry, okay, but I didn't 

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::almost reaches out to wipe her tear, but stops himself; quietly::  I'll check on Ben.

quantumcatz: BM: We'd hear him if he woke up, you said so yourself

yarnkittymon: TY:  We're not getting anywhere here.

quantumcatz: BM: ::softly, running a hand through her hair:: I guess not

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  I'll get over it.  It'll just take time.

quantumcatz: BM: ::nods, leaning back against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::quietly::  You know I wouldn't die that easy, anyway.

quantumcatz: BM: ::softly:: I hope not

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::shakes his head::  Should've fished the bullet out myself.

quantumcatz: BM: ::winces as she remembers the moment again::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::softly::  But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere.

quantumcatz: BM: ::reaches out for his hand but then stops, wincing and clenching her still-raised hand::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::pauses, and then goes over to run his fingers over Becky's; softly::  I'm staying alive, I promise.

quantumcatz: BM: ::smiles weakly at him::  I don't want to lose you.  I really don't

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::pulls back; quietly::  It was a dream.  It didn't mean anything.

quantumcatz: BM: ::sighs and moves her arm back.  She's not sure that pretending it meant nothing is really going to help anything.  It certainly doesn't feel like it meant nothing to her::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::softly::  You look tired too.

quantumcatz: BM: Yeah, well, there's not been much time for sleeping

yarnkittymon: TY:  I'll keep an eye on the kids.

quantumcatz: BM: ::shakes her head, looking rather nervous:: I'd rather...I don't think i'm ready to sleep

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::shrugs::  Sure.

quantumcatz: BM: ::winces, understanding how badly he must have felt when she couldn't forgive him::

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::heads to the door::  See you in the morning.

quantumcatz: BM: ::softly:: See you later

yarnkittymon: TY:  ::slips out silently::

On to September 7, 1936

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